I'm Gonna Burn (WR)

So, as I sit here, I realize that this is 3 blogs posted in 1 day, and 4 in a week, but it might be a while before we post more.  I’m leaving for the Cape Town airport in an hour or less and our race is moving on to India after that.

I’m writing this as an advance blog, because I don’t know when, or how often I’ll have internet next month.  My team and squad always need prayer, but our team will certainly be thankful to receive some extra prayer support this month.

We will be working with a ministry, “Burn” traveling all over India.  We’ll land in Mumbai on Monday and be moving from there.  We’ll head to some very dark areas, places that have yet to hear the Gospel, the Good News of Jesus Christ.  These will likely include some regions where idol worship and human sacrifice still take place today.

There will be a lot of spiritual warfare.  Pray that our team doesn’t give the enemy any foothold within us as individuals or as a team.  Pray for wisdom and guidance of our host team.  Pray for open hearts, both from us and from the people we will be sharing with.  Pray for a plentiful harvest and strengthened workers.

Thank you for all that all of you have done, both in prayer and otherwise.  We definitely still need you if we're gonna be able to burn.

(If you want specific names of racers doing this Burn for at least some of the time to pray for....They are... Ben, Brett, Rachel, Becca, Rebecca, Dania, Tyler, Michael, and me.)

I've Been Exposed (WR)

A lot of times it’s tough to sum up a month, especially a month like this one with 3 different types of ministry and all sorts of peripheral things.  But that’s the task I’m “charged” with.  So brace yourselves.

Our team had a couple of additions this month, Wesley Presley Snipes, or, as his birth certificate might more accurately say, Wesley Parker Reed joined us from the great state of Georgia, ever heard of it?  And Kyle Winston Tubb of Amory, Mississippi fame also took his talents to a South (African) Beach.  Now, I know what you’re thinking… He’s not Kyle Winston Tubb V.  As you much as you might expect a name like that to be locked onto for hundreds of years, such is not yet the case.

These gents were kiff (it means “cool” here in South Africa) and were keen(willing) to join us as part of a World Race Exposure trip that brings people in for a month of our journey, and without them and their manly muscles we would have been in for some extra rough times.  But it wasn’t the case as 8 of us pulled up onto the roof of Durban station in our Taxibus straight from Manzini, Swaziland rather than the normal 6.

It was on this roof that we were greeted by Kerneels, Emma, and Ella Roos of Higher Ground, a ministry that conducts camps for people with disabilities.  They are indeed legit.  They immediately escorted us on to our first of many homes for the month, where we saw the warm face of Sushila and had the pleasure of being treated and eating like kings and queens before we headed off to the first camp.

It’s about here that I could divulge into a long multipage rant about every little thing and change that happened, but I’ll just try to break it into a few short stories of some things I’ve been “exposed” to, beyond the obvious of the World Race Exposure.

I won’t pretend that I’ m a massively changed man directly resulting from this month, at least not from where I sit.

I certainly enjoyed the Durban area.  Emma and Kerneels, along with Matt and Lara Steyn from Dawn View Christian Camp were people I’d love to hang out with for life.  And I got to see my awesome Glenridge friends… SUCCESS!

But on to the individual experiences…

Week 1
We were at Dawn View Christian Camp, about an hour outside of Durban, near Pietermaritzburg working a camp for young adults with visual impairments ranging from partial-sightedness to complete blindness.  It was tough to pull them from their cell phones, but through our “Connect” time (musical worship and speaking on the word), bedtime talks, and a fireside chat we managed to present some truth. 

Out for a little "Mike Hike"

One of the most memorable was a chat with one of the campers at fireside, where I got to share a lot of the same type of truths I’ve been speaking about in my last few blogs and the freedom to love and obey independent of other people and our circumstances.  Much like “Pretend Angela” from Swaziland, I don’t know if he has let those truths set in or if he’s ran back to the past he had, but his looks of recognition, combined with his tendency to be a thinker, give me hope that he’s moved on to a freedom to be what he was called to.

Week 2
We moved about 45 minutes down the coast from Durban to Pennington Beach Resort to put on a camp for adults with acquired brain injuries.  These few days were some of the most humbling and sobering experiences of this race.  We were working with people who used to be just like us.  Born with no clue that their lives would be brought to the place where some of them can’t do for themselves.
One of these people was Tim.  Tyler and I were in charge of caring for him…completely.  You can’t quite replicate the experience of having to wipe grown man’s butt for him, or of standing by and encouraging him that it’s ok and that he needn’t apologize for not being able to pee as he lays pant less on his bed.  It’s sobering to have to console a grown man that you aren’t going to leave him alone, because he has a ridiculous fear of being left.

Tim, Tyler, and I hanging out on the last day of camp

What’s more sobering perhaps is that fact that at any point you or anyone you love could become like this.

These men had careers and wives.  They pretty much all lost the career, and several of them lost their wives.  I can’t imagine the mental and emotional pain that must ensue from that happening on top of being left incapacitated.  But what’s humbling is the amount of joy that these folks had.  Even if I didn’t believe in God, I’d have to still bite my tongue if I started to complain or feel bad about my lot in life.

Week 3
We went on back up to Dawn View for a few days with campers born with mental disabilities, primarily Autism and Down’s Syndrome.  I specifically was in charge of Tim, Kyle, and Lloyd, even though we all chipped in across the board.  This week wasn’t as tough, but full of joy one moment and emotion swings the next.  The guys were great, it’s indeed humbling and gratitude inducing to see what can happen if just a little bit off chemically, and it makes you do a mental double take about the simple things in life.

            

                        Kyle on the obstacle course

The month, as a whole, was often filled with what I’ve been speaking about in my recent blogs, just obeying, even when it seemed like it wasn’t going to work.

Kerneels, our contact, is partially sighted (at last check, and is down to a very very low percentage of vision. 

        

                                        Kerneels and Ella on the hiking trail with me and Mike.

I felt like I should be willing to pray for him to be healed every day.  And that is what I did.  I was forced to ask God to forgive my unbelief, Kerneels’s unbelief, or anything that was in the way of our hearts.

We asked for sight.  I desperately wanted him to be able to see his beautiful daughter, who even more gave me a preview of what being a dad could one day be.  But it didn’t happen when I was there.  It may happen now, but it hasn’t yet.  And we’re both okay with that.  From our talks, we both know that God can heal it, and even though we don’t know why He hasn’t, we understand that He has a reason, and that not having our prayers granted in life doesn’t excuse us from obedience, love, and service, nor does it for any of you.
I have gained from praying for him and him for me is a new brother, and that’s not to be scoffed at, but rather appreciated with great joy.

So would I do it all again?   I think I’d be keen.

A Double Funeral (WR)

In my last blog (Faith is Useless) I made the point that many of us don’t really obey.  (Read it if you wanna know what I’m talking about).  We don’t really exercise faith at times, and maybe, just maybe, you identified with that.  It’s possible that now or some point in the future you will find yourself with the realization that you should be exercising your faith in Christ, but you’re falling short of that.

If so, as I questioned at the end of the last blog, “Ok, so I don’t have the faith to obey like I know I’m supposed to.  How can I fix that?”  (<- an="" br="" exact="" not="" quote="">
Well there are a myriad of individual reasons, but I think for the most part they boil down to a small root cause.

Fear.

“Um, excuse me Matt, but I’m not afraid.”  Well you’re either really in a good place or a lying to yourself.  Bear with me and openly consider if this applies to you, and if it doesn’t let it roll on off… but if it does…you can begin to face and conquer it.

What would you do if you were not afraid?  Often fear is manifested in excuses, many of which I spoke about previously.

The thing it seems we fear most is failure.

We fear, because we feel a risk is involved.  It might have different looks, but often we fear failure at attaining some desired result.  But that is usually as a result of an inaccurate view of what failure looks like.

We often don’t obey, because we fear the consequences might not turn out “favorable” for us, or, if we’re more “selfless,” for what we THINK God wants.  But God wants us to obey, more than He wants us to be efficient or achieve things thru our obedience.

 The success in life isn’t in how “well” we do things, although we should do all things heartily as unto the Lord.  However, we do them to the best of our abilities with a heart for HIM, not for how many people respond positively, or how many lives we save (physically, emotionally, or spiritually).  Because, as I heard a man say recently in a church service hear in South Africa, “We need servants, more than we need heroes.”

We shouldn’t make a god of our good deeds and intentions, there is already a God, and there’s no room to magnify anything else, even if those things are done for Him.  But when we let fear of circumstances push us from obedience, a lot of the time it is because we’ve got that whole part out of balance.

So you might say, “Okay… I’m afraid.  I’m letting fear stop me from obedience.  Where does it come from?

How can I overcome the fear associated with the risk of failing?

I’d venture to say it’s because ultimately we perceive the risk to be real because we have a lack of perspective.

We live with a perspective that doesn’t extend far, if at all, beyond the borders of our pride.

Pride, in itself, is lacking in perspective.  It’s self-centered, and we too often adopt it as the lens of our lives and filter our decisions through it.  Pride is a monger of our perspective, in spite of having such a narrow vision.  We trap ourselves into trying to view a tremendous and grand world and plan with a tiny miniscule lens.

(NOT PICTURED >>>> ANYTHING)

What else is pride?  Pride is the inventor of fear.  It creates fear to protect itself.  Pride is the enemy living within us that confines us, that keeps us susceptible to an even greater extent to the schemes of “the evil one.”

In fact, what we fear in life isn’t failure, it’s the feeling that failing brings.  It’s our pride that takes the painful hit if we don’t succeed by the standards we perceive to be valid, and it’s our pride that keeps us from risking.

We should shun fear, but it’s a symptom of a greater disease, pride.  It is our pride that builds the tiny box in which we live in.  This tiny “Matrix,” in which we operate, is run by pride, because pride seeks control, because pride fears being out of control.  That’s a lot of “becauses,” but the point is it’s easier to control a tiny world.

We must be freed from the prison of pride, to a grander perspective; a perspective closer to a God-sized viewpoint that doesn’t need to see a return on investment on love and obedience, a perspective that doesn’t live with an orphaned and fearful heart.

So we need new perspective?  Well, what things should we include in this new perspective?

There are the obvious theological principles of God as a Father, Healer, Protector, Lord, Savior, Guide, and an assortment of other things.  But all those are things that any significant time spent in church or around “church folk” would have already taught you countless times.  That’s not to downplay those things.  They are indeed vital.  Cliché’s often come to be for a very real reason.

But what’s something else we can be left to metaphorically chew on?

Obedience is the success of life.  We often don’t attempt because we feel like our attempt will not result in the achievement we seek, but what we miss is that achievement is the attempt.  The greatest achievement is faith in Christ acted out as obedience, namely as love.  So too, one of the greatest miracles is a heart that seeks God’s way and not its own, even when it is otherwise afraid of the outcome.

It’s often been said that without risk, there is no love.  And to a degree, within our miniscule perspective, that carries some wisdom with it.  But that is a short-sighted view disguised as brilliant truth, as the wisdom of man often is.  Obedience is something that cannot be taken, it’s a heart turned to action, and action already completed.  That thing can’t be undone, not even by a hateful response, simple unrequited love, or even death itself.

Oddly enough we don’t love other people for their sake.  When we have this heart we indirectly love for our sake, because we feel as If we are doing them some massive favor and thus… should feel bubbly and proud of ourselves.  This type of love and obedience only goes as far as the appreciation of others will carry us, and maybe a bit further if our own “martyred” spirit will lead us to believe we’ve been extra Holy.

We love others, even in the crazy, difficult, messy situations, because we were first loved by our Savior, Creator, and Lord.  Our service is not a matter we should carry as if a merit badge, but rather a joyful and thankful response at being forgiven a debt that could never be repaid.  Or we could treat our service  like a child who is proud at the chance his or her father gives her to help work on a household project.

The Father doesn’t need us, but we GET TO be a part of His plan.

And when we are, we bring Him glory.  This isn’t some hokey, “Upward” Christianity where every well-intentioned person wins.  After all, the intentions must be properly guided from a perspective filled with His spirit, rather than a simple do-gooder’s heart.  That sort of understanding to properly aim good intentions comes from consistent time scripture, prayer, and Godly council.  Understandably, this is a life-long journey, all the more reason to get on the way now.

And getting on with it is exactly what we can do if we are freed from the prison of our pride-filled perspective.  To be such, is to be free to give of time and/or money, ask for help, quit that addiction, or whatever manifestation of love and obedience of our Savior presents itself.  To live in this way is to be free to persevere in the face of PERCEIVED failure, regardless of the likelihood of it repeating itself yet again.  This is the type of perseverance that produces character and hope.

And isn’t that what we all want to at least some degree?

Be free to fail, because even when you do, you can then realize that it was never failure at all.  And as you do this you are free to give birth to love.  And your pride and your fear can die together.

It’ll be great, we can have a double funeral.

Faith Is Useless (WR)

(So, quite recently, I posted a blog called “Pretend Angela.”  If you haven’t read that one, you should know it’s the precursor to this one.  So it might be a good idea to read it, because that’s where this one picks up)

…

How does someone get to this place?  How do we find ourselves in situations where, without intervention, we fly down a path of not trusting God?  How often do we justify our lack of faith more and more until, if we are fortunate enough to wake up, we eventually find ourselves way down a road we never thought we’d go?

Faith in Christ is a tough thing.  It’s often something we cling to more theoretically than literally, but by default that’s not faith.  Like a guy or a girl we want to like, we’re more into “the idea” of faith in Christ, than an actual reality of it.  But the reality of it, we think, involves a bit of risk.

I say “Faith in Christ” and not simply “faith,” because faith is easy and ulitmately useless if not properely placed.  Every moment we exercise faith in something.  Often we exercise faith in ourselves, or someone else’s opinion, or maybe even our interpretation of someone else’s opinion or advice.  There are countless things we put faith in every day, but, ironically enough, too rarely in our Creator.

                 

Some of us admittedly don’t believe at all, and that’s possibly a safer place than pretend believing, because at least then we’re honest about where we are.  And if He reveals Himself we at least know we need to move toward Him, rather than the false idea that we are already there.

What’s much more dangerous perhaps is a cultural Christianity.  What’s more common is the kind of part time Christianity that works from time to time, but rarely extends further than the church parking lot, the dinner table, or the occasional bedtime prayer.  Some of us extend it a little further into the realm of our all holy “quiet time” with God, but then run off into a different compartment of our lives.

We fill our mouths and minds with all of these reasons why we should trust in ourselves rather than in our Savior, Creator, and would-be Lord.  But think of the ridiculousness of it all.  It’s often our “logic” that leads us to a place of trusting our ways and the ways of the world, but it’s real logic that awakens us to the truth.

How does it make sense that we believe and have faith that there is a God, but that He can’t take care of our children and our families?  How does it make sense to say that we believe that this God has always been and always will be, and that He possesses all power, strength and love, but live lives that show we believe Him to be smaller than our circumstance.  How is it that we can say we believe this God calls us His children, and sent part of Himself, His own son for us, yet not trust Him with our futures?  How can we trust Him with our soul, but not our wallet?  How can we trust Him with our sins, but not our dating or marriage relationships?

How can we trust Him with our eternity, but not with our temporal?

How foolish does it all seem?  Do we really trust Him?

It’s a lack of trust in Him, combined with an inflated view of ourselves, a pride, fed by a lack of perspective.
The words “IF” and “UNLESS” are, apparently, less often found in scripture than our words and lives would preach.

“Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”  Is not “Love your neighbor as yourself, unless he is really annoying.”

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, if it’s not too much of an inconvenience,” is found on the pages of scripture on a much less common basis than we might think.

All sorts of commands and promises and scripture we know, but adulterate with a pride that thinks our situation is somehow different or outside of the scope God intended it.

“I know the Word leads us to serve and provide for the poor, the orphans, the widows, and to tithe BUT if I don’t know how I’m gonna pay for my child’s school, or for my school, or for my car.”  Or maybe… “Yeah we are supposed to give of our time to others, but I work hard ya know?”

This isn’t a blog to call you to give everything you own to the poor or to get you to volunteer every Saturday at a soup kitchen or some other philanthropic outlet.  But moreso it’s a call to trust.  It’s a call to have faith IN Christ more than self.  It’s a call to have what we say we believe line up with what our lives say.

Ok…So you might say, “So.. I don’t live out a life a faith?  Why is that?  I mean I know I should, but what exactly is stopping me?”  Which are all good questions, because after all, application is part of a living faith in Christ is it not?

Well.. I’ve got some thoughts, but you’ll have to wait on the next blog….

Lord Willin’

(I know I did it again, but seriously… that would be a lonnnnng blog)… you’re welcome.

Pretend Angela (WR)

Last month we had Manistry (all the dudes together) month in Swaziland, except the women… they did no “manistry” to speak of, but were still in Swaziland.  I know you’re glad you had that explained to you.

Our ministry mainly involved helping out with the children of an orphanage and school, working in the fields, and helping around our contact Charmain's home.  Between all that, our random guy things, and, of course, tea time... I managed to meet a lady name Angela... "allegedly." 

…

Cows often found their way onto the property at El Shaddai, and one of our daily tasks quickly became herding them from the corn fields.  On one such occasion, "Angela" was walking down the road and her phone messed up, which led her to call for the assistance of Ben Mullett and Johnfrank.  (They can give more of the story, but if you don’t know them this will have to suffice).

She asked for help fixing the music on her phone and moved on, offering to sell them a giant bag of weed.  Just a normal day, ya know?  Ehhh… not really...

She explained that she was nervous, as it was her first time selling.  She'd been out of work for some time, and was only selling in an effort to raise the money to provide for her little boy.  Afterall, everyone around there sold.  It's how to get by.  But after a talk and some prayer, she agreed to go home and pour all of the weed down her outhouse.

AND she said she'd go to church on Sunday.

 

(NORMALLY I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE PUT A PICTURE HERE, BUT… I DON’T REALLY HAVE ONE RIGHT NOW, SO I THOUGHT ALL CAPS WOULD SIMULATE IT.  JUST IMAGINE 1,000 WORDS HERE).

Sunday rolled around, and there she came.  

I didn't know her, but I saw her talking with Ben and Johnfrank.  Apparently, she told Johnfrank that she’d not thrown the weed away, but I didn’t know that.  His conversation with her was interrupted and he ended up having to step away.  But as “Angela” was getting ready to leave, I heard her saying she was going to meet someone.

I knew the story of her talk on day one with Johnfrank and Ben, but something didn’t sit easy in me.  I just couldn’t shake that thought that maybe she had lied to them and was off to sell the green to someone.  Part of me just wanted to let her go, thinking I was wrong or that she wouldn’t tell me if that’s what she was doing, but saying something won out.

I called to her as she was walking away, with some vague question more out of starting conversation rather than of any specific desire to know whatever specifically I asked.  

She stopped, and I asked her if she had to go.  It didn’t take long for her to explain that she was going to sell, and that this was her only time. 

Johnfrank then returned, and after a bit of conversation she agreed to escort us, along with her young boy, to their home to see her thru canceling her appointment and dumping “the goods” down the chute of the modest wooden outhouse on her grandmother’s property.

 

(I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE PUT A PICTURE HERE TOO).

 

Eventually, we talked her into speaking with Charmain about her problem paying for her son’s school and looking for work.  And she had a solution that would have been available to her all along.  But as many of us do, “Angela” (who’d actually given us a fake English name) was caught in a spinning cycle of chasing her own way around things.  She, like many of us, was trying to solve things by her own strength, maybe even praying to God, but in all practicality trusting in everything but Him. 

I can’t say with great confidence that, as I sit, “Angela” is full-heartedly chasing after the Lord and genuinely seeking what is right.  That’s part of the nature of this building relationships and leaving thing, but we just have to trust that the words of the Lord will not return void.  Since we left her and her son to move on to South Africa, we’ve not heard from them.  So, I don’t know if she’s still sticking with the plan to help her that had been worked out prior to our departure.  I don’t know that she’s seeking a life of honesty and seeking the discipleship we encouraged her to get, but she’s certainly had every chance to do so.  And so have all of us.  Whether we believe and take advantage of those opportunities is, as with Pretend Angela, up to us…

All of this poses some questions and whatnot, and I don’t like leaving things incomplete, but I’m assuming you don’t wanna read a 2,000 word blog in one sitting.  So …for now… against my normal urges not to write something I don’t fully like…I’ll leave it at this, and soon I’ll post the follow up… 

“Lord Willin’”

Not Pregnant! (WR)

As most of my blogs, this one is late, but don’t worry… neither I nor my world race blog are pregnant.  (I imagine that Reagan has just struck her knee).  If you aren’t on the race, you probably won’t get that, don’t hurt yourself.

(Digression)

Precursor:  I’m a logistics dude for my squad.  That’s not vital to any of this, but it explains the next sentence for those of you who didn’t know.

Part of this whole logistics gig means I get to be a part of the lovely process known as visa applications and, for this race in particular, India has been a hefty sized garbage bag of issues.  First, we tried to apply in Romania, but it was too soon, “allegedly.”  So we regrouped and planned to apply in South Africa.  Well, at the beginning-ish of June, roundabout the 7^th, BenW, the squad leaders, and myself rolled on down to Durban after Mozambique ended.

To our slight surprise, we were told we needed to have everyone fill out new forms because, although the required information is the same, they need their paperwork to have South Africa on the top, and not Romania.  More surprising, however, was the fact that in South Africa everyone must individually enter the office to apply, so we couldn’t get them.

We took buses seven hours out of our way and didn’t get what we went for.  So… we failed right?

Nope.

Instead, we met some amazing people who tremendously blessed us!  And a dream was re-encouraged within me by these people being open vessels of God in serving us abundantly.

People back home care about me and for me in times of need for various reasons.  It’s nearly always been some combination of them enjoying my company, being my family or friends and having to love me, or wanting to provide for me because God has used me in their lives.



But… with this “Durband” it was …the power of Christ that compelled them.  There was no other reason they could have genuinely had that might cause them to serve us, but they did, and (barring severe mental deterioration) I’ll remember them until the day I die.

These men and women tremendously blessed me and helped encourage me even more of God’s provision for some of my biggest and most “risky” dreams.

And it shouldn’t be that I need to be re-energized necessarily, but that’s what the body of Christ does, or rather should do.  We take care of each other, and I pray I can make a habit of being as welcoming and as much of a blessing for others as our “Durband” was to us.



(More blogs coming soon...probably, if I'd just been able to fit into all in more briefly it would have been in THIS blog, but I trust you can wait).