Who Am I?

“...I am humbled.”

I want to live my life with the thankfulness, grace, mercy, and love that spring from the weight of that statement truly defining my heart.

I’m humbled by the graciousness and mercy of a loving God.  That’s nothing new, but lately I’ve been repeatedly humbled by the generosity and trust of people.  From complete strangers to those I know well and from people with significant financial resources to those who don’t have very much at all; I have been amazed.  I have been amazed at generosity and obedience to the Spirit.  I have been amazed that these people have so graciously opened their hearts and their wallets to help support me on The World Race.

All this leads me to ask…   “Who am I?”

Who am I that the Lord would bring me to a place of opportunity to serve Him in any capacity, much less one of the caliber and make of The World Race?  (It’s no more special a call, but it’s still pretty freakin cool).

Who am I that the King of all creation would entrust me with a chance to be part of His plan to love His people at home and around the world?

Who am I that the Spirit would move on the hearts of both those I do and do not know to support my journey?

Who am I that people trust me with their money, to be a shining light to the world?

Who am I but a sinner, saved by grace and turned into a saint, a new creation made whole and conformed in Him?  (That’s the most we could ever be).

How unworthy I am.  What merit do I have of my own, to be entrusted with the opportunity that I now possess?  The answer is none.  

How I pray that I continue that mindset, and that it bleeds into my heart and soul and overflows my life every day.  Because I can boast in nothing but Christ alone and Him crucified and raised.  (Which is the most we could ever boast in).  I can boast in nothing else.  Certainly not the temporal basics of life like money and food and clothing, none of which I “provide” for myself beyond, at most, the utilization of my God given abilities, which I didn't manifest in myself.  Not even when I have a heart that yells to cry out His praises, for it is not placed in my chest by my own hands.  I have not formed myself, nor my talents and gifts, merely honed them at best, and even then it is only through the countless graces like health, nurturing, and loved ones that has allowed me to do so.

And those things and questions, must lead me to these questions…

Who am I that I wouldn't shout to all the nations His praise?

Who am I that I wouldn't love and forgive?

Who am I that I wouldn't shower those in this world that I contact with His grace and mercy?

Who am I that I would do anything other than run from my own filthy sin?

Who am I that I would ever value reputation over His glory?

Who am I that I wouldn't leverage the life He allows me to get others to ask themselves these questions in the
depth and sincerity of their hearts?

Who am I to think at all that this could ever be about “me?” 

It’s not about me. 

And that is why I should be humbled.  That is why I AM humbled.  People give to my trip because they support what I’m doing, but I’m nowhere to be found in the real foundation of why the cause is worth supporting. I’m just fortunate enough to have the chance to get to embark on this incredible journey, and I’m blown away by a God that is making it happen.  He could have put anyone else in this position and in the life He’s already blessed me with thus far, but for some reason not of my own merit, I've gotten to be the guy. 

I’m blown away and thankful for the obedience of so many people to play a role in that.  And just as much I’m blown away by those who pray for me.  I’m equally blown away and thankful for those who've found obedience to mean NOT giving financially to my journey, because God had other plans for their money.  That all these people would seek Him and then obey whatever that means is mind blowing. 

It is amazing to me that, while I am not at all what their (maybe your) obedience is truly about, I GET to see it and I GET to be a part of it.  As great as all of this is, it is only PART of why I am humbled, and that gives me all-the-more reason to think and live a life that says to the world, “...I am humbled.”

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Pray.