Ride's part of the trip

Originally "written" /typed January 2, 2010

I used to take trips to Florida with my grandparents. Those 4 hours turned to 6, 7, or 8 on the road were utterly annoying, only made more bearable by 2 things counting the cars of certain colors (white wins) and knowing there was a beach at the end. That my destination was somehow worth the hell I THOUGHT I was experiencing. What irritated me worse then was when I urged my grandfather to speed up (who mind you was driving 45 miles an hour to the beach) he would always say "Ride's part of the trip" I've often jokingly mocked my grandfather of the ridiculousness of this comment. Now I don't think my grandfather meant this in a spiritual or deep way, I genuinely think he was just excusing his lack of desire to get to the beach. However, recently as I sat eating with a dear friend of mine it hit me. The ride IS part of the trip and equally, if not more importantly, that what we know or misguidedly think is the destination sometimes. Not literally in terms of driving, but on the road of life. We may make wrong turns or be driving down dead end roads and have no idea, it's who we are and how we obey His will along the way, and how we enjoy and serve those on parts of the journey with us that will give our ultimate earthly destination it's true meaning.

I don't know that I've ever been so uncertain of what to do? or where to go? or when to do it? or how to do it? or who to do it with? and what those ends mean for my current means... I trust in His wisdom. It would be foolish to trust in anything else. But what specific application of that trust am I being guided toward.

I will wait, but while I must not idly do so. I must love. I must give. I must serve. I must obey. I must seek. I must pray. For it is how we do these things on the road that will determine how we are and who we are when get where we're going.

And because of this...
we must serve in spite of our wilderness, love in spite of our pain, give in spite of our poverty, obey in spite of our confusion, pray in spite of our desires, and seek in spite of the darkness around us.

We must do all these things in spite of ourselves and in spite or our pride which tells us that we'll do what we're called to do when we either know OR arrive where we are called to be. But we miss the point in that. We are called to be where we are today, even if it's not glamorous, which it's often not; and even it's not fun, which it's often not ; and even if we don't even know where the heck we are today, which we often don't.

Our obedience isn't conditional, that's not obedience, that's a barter and we are in no position to barter. Beggars can't be choosers, and anyone who lives long enough will be a beggar at some point in some regard. And there's no better place to be a beggar than at the feet of a just, gracious, merciful, and loving king, so it's best to travel on our roads with that understanding than to be shocked and surprised by it.

I don't know why I am where I am or where I'll be tomorrow or in a week, or if I'll even see those days. But I know that those days won't be what they can be until I obey by loving, giving, serving, seeking and praying with each breath I have. This doesn't mean I'll be any less lost than I am now circumstantially, but my life and my days won't be lost or wasted, even if there's no grand earthly destination, even if my road is a long winding weary road. Or a short one cut off "too soon" as some might say. I am not my own.

We must seek what is right, but we can't be afraid to make mistakes though. We mustn't over-think and paralyze ourselves with realization of our fragility or God's grandeur. We can't paralyze ourselves in an emotional or spiritual search of the right thing in any given situation. and I'm one to talk haha.

Sometimes we just have to DO.

We must get busy living, because we're already dying. And until we're dying to live and living to die neither of the two will bear the weight they should in our world.

Does this note encompass all my thoughts... not a shot! peanut butter mustard igloo ballgame... still not close, but it's what i thought of now... so i guess that's that.