How I invented the 8 track player

Originally written May 15, 2007

I'm writing this note to address something very few of you know about, and I wanted let you all know from me before you heard it from someone else. It is true that I am do have a fairly large net worth, and that the money comes from money made from my invention of the 8 track player.
Earlier in my life I was a traveling fishing pole salesman, for about 2 years in fact. The money was good, and the life was better. I was number one in my division for both years and was lavished with several awards. Also my clients were so pleased with the quality of rods and reels that I had provided them with that they would often give me gifts. Some of the gifts were quite odd and seemingly insignificant, but little did I know that these gifts would help me make the invention that would soon change my life and the music industry.
I was particularly puzzled when on back to back trips in Saganaw, Michigan I was given to strange gifts. At the Miller house, Mr. Miller after purchasing one our better Zebco reels invited me into his kitchen before leaving. He gave me a hamburger and a packet of twist ties to send me on my way. I was confused, but said thanks and left Mr. Miller with his new reel and went on to his neighbors house. Now I will never forget Jebidiah Andrews. Mr. Andrews lived in a house that looked like a huge burrito. Inside I gave Mr. Andrews the typical schpeel. He agreed to buy a couple of rods and reels and some high test fishing line. After the sale was made, Mr. Andrews had a strange look on his face. I asked if there was something wrong. What he said, I'll never forget. "No Mr. Blair things have never been more right." He insisted on thanking me, but all that this odd man had to give was a box of taco sauce packets. I greatfully accepted.
These things seemed like no big deal. When I returned to my hotel later that evening I opened up the box of packets. All the packets were blank, except the top center packet. It said "durlin easu iohnhil di esrtha" It was German. I called my uncle, current UWG German Professor Dr. Blair. What he translated the message for me as, "Invent the 8 track player." I was like, "what does that mean?" He said he'd never heard of it and then quipped, maybe because it needs to be invented. I laughed a little and then went to bed. That night I had a dream and woke up in the middle of the night and immediately grabbed the twist ties and began to do as I had done in my dream. Within 10 minutes I'd invented the 8 track player.
The money I made from the invention made me nervous. It was hard to tell who was really my friend. So I decided to start a new and move to Carrollton, where I'd sold fishing supplies before and start over. Then with invention of cassettes and cds my invention became a joke and I was ashamed. However, now I know who my real friends are now here. And I am comfortable letting you all know, because I'm no longer ashamed of my invention. Thank you all.